Sunshine's Birth Story

I expected Sunshine's birth to be an amazing event.  One that would leave me feeling accomplished, like I could do anything.  Instead, it left me feeling traumatized.

I had a plan.  I printed out a birth plan from babycenter.com and filled in my preferences for how I wanted my birth to go.  No pitocin, no epidural, no episiotomy, and above all everything possible to avoid a cesarean section.  I had this idea in my head that I wanted to go all natural.  It was a well meaning idea, but I had not at all prepared myself to do that.  I didn't read the right books that would give me the information I needed to build up my resistance to any and all interventions.  The only book I read was What to Expect When You're Expecting.  While it gave a good basic run down of everything it did not provide me with what I needed to attempt a natural birth.  My one regret.  I should have educated myself more.

I discussed with my doctor what my wishes were throughout my pregnancy.  He seemed to smile and nod, but never really accepted my wishes.  When I asked questions about possible complications with different interventions he wouldn't answer directly but would tell me that we'd do whatever was best for the baby. 

On Sunday, January 30th, 3 days before Sunshine's due date.  I started to get some mild but steady contractions.  They became 5 minutes apart and although they didn't feel like the real thing we decided to go to the hospital.  When my mother was pregnant with my older sister she felt different all day and when the contractions finally started hitting hard she went to the hospital only to deliver my sister within 5-10 minutes.  The doctor didn't have gloves or a gown on yet.  This story worried me a bit so there we were.  I was hooked up to monitors and they showed contractions 4 minutes apart.  After an hour there was no progress so I was sent home.  Over the next few hours the contractions became less and less.  I was bummed.

We had an appointment with my doctor on Tuesday.  He told us he was disappointed that I hadn't gone into actual labor on Sunday night.  He said he was going to do a pelvic examination to see if I had progressed at all.  He then said he was going to strip my membranes and I would most likely go into labor within the next 24-48 hours. 

At the time I was attending college and was doing my preschool practicum.  Since we lived on the opposite side of campus from the preschool I decided to walk to preschool to help me go into labor.  It worked.  By the time I was done with preschool and had walked home I was definitely feeling the contractions.  By about 4 o'clock they were in full swing.  We decided to go to the hospital at 7:30.  With the way I was looking they decided to put me in a laboring room instead of an observation room.  They put the monitors on me to check my progress for an hour.  As I laid in the bed I remember feeling incredibly uncomfortable. I didn't feel like I was in a good position but its what I did because that's what everyone does right?  After an hour I hadn't progressed.  My doctor was called and he told them to keep me and get me started on pitocin.  Yeah, that wasn't on my birth plan.  I didn't feel like I had a choice though.  I wasn't asked if I wanted pitocin they just told me that's what they were going to do.  I am a non-confrontational person.  I like to keep the peace and I am pretty passive in situations like this.  I didn't refuse the pitocin. 

As the nurse was getting the IV started Sunshine's heart rate dropped to 80 bpm.  Suddenly there were about 5 nurses in our room having me roll over to my side and putting oxygen over my face.  I was asking if everything was okay and I was told everything was fine and this was pretty common.  I wanted to slap someone.  There are 5 nurses in my room doing multiple things to me and everything is fine?

Her hear rate went back up as the contraction ended.  They called my doctor and he said he would be in to evaluate me.  While we waited her heart rate dropped again.  Soon it was dropping with every contraction.  Suddenly there were more nurses and CNAs in my room.  They began scrambling to get an IV in me.  They poked both of my hands about 3 or 4 times each and I finally told them to just put it in my arm.  They said they needed to get fluids in me.  They got the fluids in and then started pitocin.  Pitocin makes contraction ridiculous. 

The doctor finally arrived and said he would like to do internal fetal monitoring to get a better read.  Her hear rate continued to drop with every contraction.  He then said he was going to break my waters.  That felt really weird.  When it came gushing out he discovered there was meconium in the water.  Everything was working against us.  With all of the chaos that was going on I began to panic.  I couldn't handle the pitocin induced contractions and asked for an epidural.

I soon began to feel a lot of pressure.  My doctor said I may have progressed quickly and I could be ready to push.  He checked me and I was at 4 cm.  He then said that because her heart rate was dropping low with every contraction he felt it was best to do a cesarean section.  My heart sank, I was devastated.  He then said that we needed to do what was best for the baby.  I knew she needed to come out and it needed to be quick.

I asked Joe and my doctor to give me a priesthood blessing.  After the blessing every thing went so fast.  They prepped me, rolled me into the surgical room and she was out.  It took about 20 minutes from the time of the blessing to the time she was delivered.  When the doctor pulled her out the chord was wrapped around her neck.  It was good that we had gotten her out when we did.

Sunshine was born at 11:11 PM, weighing 6 pounds 2 ounces and she was 19 1/2 inches long.

Because of the distress she was having and the mecconium in my water they let me kiss her and then they whisked her away.  I was sewed up and rolled back to my room.  My husband had gone with Sunshine to make sure everything was okay and to be there with her.  I wasn't able to see Sunshine until a little after midnight.  While she was away from me she was bathed, given shots, had the gooey stuff put on her eyes, and had her footprints done.  All of these things could have been done after I was able to hold her, nurse her, and bond with her.  Thankfully when they brought her to me, 45 minutes later, she was ready to eat and latched on right away. 

The following days went better than could be expected.  She took to breastfeeding really well and we were able to bond quickly.  I fell in love fast.  Though nothing went according to plan I am grateful that she made it safe and I am grateful that we have the technology and methods to save babies who need it.