A Modest Halloween

I started doing my preschool student teaching.  It has been fun so far.  It has been easy to come up with lessons because we are nearing Halloween.  The kids love this stuff.  Today the kids are wearing their Halloween costumes and we are doing a parade.  I am required to wear a costume because I will be leading them.  I haven't been too excited about it. 

A couple years ago I purchased a cheap $7 costume at Walmart.  It's a basic tee with cheetah print on it and it came with some matching cat ears.  When I learned that I would be dressing up I was glad to have it.  When I went to get it, I couldn't find it.  Ahh!  So I headed to Target to get some sort of costume.  I was shell shocked.  First of all, the cheapest, cheap-looking polyester costume for women was $30.  Second, all those cheap-looking polyester costumes were too short and too low-cut.  These costumes were completely inappropriate for anyone to wear under any circumstances.  Halloween is for the kids to dress up all cute and for the women to have an excuse to show off, well, everything.  What a great example to set, right?  I thought, "If I showed up in one of these I would be asked to leave preschool and ne'er return."  (I totally just said ne'er with a pirate accent in my head).

Needless to say I came home annoyed and frustrated.  I explained my predicament to my husband along with my opinions about women's costumes.  (Poor guy).  When I was finished he told me he knew where my costume was.  We went to the garage, he pulled down a box, and there it was in all it's modest glory. 

My Sunshine

My Sunshine is my baby girl.  She really is the light of my life.  She is almost 8 months old and is growing and learning faster than I could have ever imagined.  As I fed her this morning and while we played I fell in love with her even more.  She is such a sweet girl.  Here are a few reasons why:

• When she wakes up in the morning she doesn't start crying for me right away. (Sometimes she does.)  Instead she talks in this super soft, super sweet voice.  She sometimes will talk like this for nearly 15 minutes.  I just sit by the baby monitor and listen.  I hope she doesn't mind my eavesdropping.  When she starts to whimper I go in and she grins from ear to ear and gets so excited.

• She claps.  It's not awkward, uncoordinated clapping either.  It's very coordinated and she even makes a clapping sound when she does it.  For an 8 month old that's pretty awesome.  She thinks clapping is one of the greatest things in the world and does it often.

• She has the best smile and it is contagious.  She gets it from her Daddy.  His smile is my favorite physical feature.  I am so glad she got that from him.  When she smiles her whole face smiles.  Her eyes smiles, her forehead relaxes, her cheeks tighten, and her lips widen bearing her 5 front teeth.  It's a wholehearted smile.

• She is generally quite happy and easygoing.  She has a personality like you wouldn't believe.  When you flash her a smile she always gives one back, unless she is crying of course.  People comment all the time how she is the happiest baby they have ever met.  I agree.  It's refreshing.  She always makes my bad days better just by being herself.  She's powerful that way.  I think that she will, throughout her life, be such a big help to people and will be able to spread her happiness to them.

• She seems to always be thinking and figuring things out.  She is curious about everything.  She wants to explore everything using all of her senses.  Touching, hearing, seeing, and tasting.  I'm not sure if she smells everything, haha.  I think her favorite senses are touching and tasting.  Everything she touches goes in her mouth. 

• She army crawls all over the living room.  She hasn't gotten up on her knees yet, but that doesn't seem to bother her.  She does like to get up on her hands and toes and pushes off with her toes.  That's kind of funny to watch.

• She is petite, weighing in at around 15 lbs, and is 27.25 inches tall.  She is a skinny little girl, but it suits her.  All of her pants are either too loose and perfect length or perfect fit but too short.  I have a feeling that pants will be a struggle for us for the next few years. 

• She is gorgeous.  Her smile, long lashes, side swept bangs, beautiful brownish/green eyes, her little nose, and her Italian olive skin.  She is going to have so many boys wanting to date her. (not until she's 30!)

• She loves to be outside.  She gets so excited on walks.

• When she gets excited she moves her whole body.  She kicks her legs, flails her arms, grins from ear to ear, and all this shakes the rest of her body.  She squeals and giggles too.

• She giggles when we tickle her.  Sometimes when we run errands together I hear her giggle randomly in the backseat of the car.  She giggles when we go on walks.  She giggles when we play peek-a-boo.

• She loves my hair.  She giggles when I shake it in front of her face.  She also loves the blow dryer.  She watches me intently when I use it.  I put it on the cool air setting and on low and blow it on her and she loves it!

• She gives me what I think are kisses.  She opens her mouth wide and kisses my face.  She thinks its funny.  I love it.

•  We like dancing together.

• Her best friend is herself in the mirror.  

• She is loud.  I think it's funny.  It sometimes causes glares from strangers in public places.  I don't mind, I think she is too cute to keep quiet.

• She does well with strangers.  She has a secure attachment with Joe and I.

I think this list is mighty long.  I could probably go on and on about her.  She is so precious to me.  You should all meet her if you haven't yet.  I can almost guarantee you would be greeted with a warm smile.

Oh and today, she is having fun blowing raspberries.  Over and over.  Gotta love having bananas and oatmeal all over.

My Disc.

One of my discs in my lower back is bulging.  "It's herniated," says the doctor.  Can it be fixed?  YES!  I start physical therapy on Monday.  They're going to decompress my spine for 2 weeks and then have me do different exercises to strengthen my back so that I can start running, yes running.  I am thrilled and so is my husband!  I hope it all goes well.

I don't even know what caused it.  I first started having this pain when I was 10-12 weeks pregnant.  We had just moved a week or so before.  I may have lifted something too heavy - but I was pregnant so I wouldn't do that.  Oh well.  It's getting fixed. :)

Exercising.

I want to exercise so bad!  But it is difficult for me.  Not because I have a hard time motivating myself to get out the door, it's because I have a bad back.  I begged my husband to let me buy a jogging stroller and he did.

I have used it a handful of times.  I go jogging/walking for about a mile.  I'll do this for 2-3 days and then my back starts threatening me with a vacation.  So I have to stop for a week until it starts to feel better, then I go jogging again.  It's really quite depressing.  I have never had so much will and motivation to exercise before like I do now, yet I physically can't do it.  I need to go see a doctor I think.  I need to be fixed.  Does anyone want to trade me backs?

Guilty.

I started school last Monday and I am not enjoying it.  I am pretending that it is all going well though.  The reality is, I feel so guilty about going.  I have spent the last 4 months raising my little girl.  We have spent nearly every waking moment together.  Now I am spending nearly 17 hours away from her attending classes, meetings, and tutoring sessions each week.  Then when I am home I am cleaning house, cooking, or doing homework.  I feel terrible  about it.  I feel like we are both missing out on so much.  She is so close to crawling and I will be devastated if I miss her first crawl.  I don't know how working moms do it.  I am so grateful that this is only temporary.  15 more weeks left (yes I'm counting).

Mommies brag.

I have begun to notice the endless bragging that moms do.  I have also noticed how much moms try to top each others' kids' stories, accomplishments, failures - pretty much anything about their kids.  Why do we do this?  We brag about everything they do from rolling, sitting, crawling, and walking, to pooping.  When a mom starts her conversation with, "you will not believe what my baby did last night," you know the next mom will say something like, "well let me tell you the story when my baby did that."  It gets ridiculous sometimes I think. 

Yes, I am apart of this.  I wouldn't be a mom if I wasn't. 

When I go do my visiting teaching us women usually talk the whole time about our babies.  We talk about our pregnancies - whose was worse.  We discuss our labors.  And then we discuss anything and everything about our babies.  No matter what the topic we all have a story we can tell and we think is better than the others.

It's crazy right? 

Why do we feel the need to do this? 

I think we do this because our kids become everything to us.  And why wouldn't I want to brag about everything my child is doing to the lady in the supermarket whom my child is flashing her two tooth grin at?

So, if, for some reason, I brag on here about my child, forgive me.  It is a common occurrence.  Can you really blame me though?  My daughter really is the most adorable, smart, funny 6 month old.

Sick and tir... - scratch that - exhausted!

My baby girl is sick.  Miserably sick.  There's nothing I can do about it either.  The Doc said she just has to "ride it out."  They told me to get her benadryll because it numbs the throat when swallowed so that she can have an easier time eating.  She has hand foot and mouth disease, which makes her sound like a leper.  Really, it's not that bad, but we are losing lots of sleep.  She has sores in her throat, on her arms, and on her legs.  The throat sores are the worst part, which make it hard for her to swallow.  She has been drooling like crazy because she doesn't want to swallow.

I am extremely exhausted.  Yesterday I slept maybe 4 hours and tonight I have slept like 3 hours while my husband cared for her.  Now it's my turn.  (We're taking shifts).  She won't sleep in her crib, she wakes up after a half hour screaming.  The best way to help her and one of us sleep is to just hold her.  She is exhausted too.  She can't get comfortable enough to get any kind of good sleep.  You would think the benadryll would knock her out, but it doesn't seem to want to work that way.

Basically I feel helpless as a Mom.  I can't really do much for her and it is heartbreaking.  I'm hoping that it won't take too long for her to get through this illness, but I will be here to dry her tears and rock her every second of the way.

The late night blogger.

I am feeling extremely insecure/fearful about blogging.  Just wanted you to all know that.  But I feel the desire to blog my thoughts.  This desire usually comes at night when I can't sleep.  So here are tonight's thoughts:

• 5 year reunion weekend.  Yep, I graduated from high school 5 years ago, which seems pretty crazy to me.  It's been so long but at the same time it feels like yesterday.  I was pretty hesitant about attending the reunion, but I'm glad I went.  It was fun reminiscing and seeing people that I had forgotten about.  Although I didn't really talk to anyone outside of my circle of friends.  I don't think I will attend the 10, 20, 30 year reunions.  I keep in touch with the people that really matter to me from high school so I don't really see the point?.  Besides the reunion I hung out with friends from high school like the good ol' days.  What a state of nostalgia we were all in.  We had fun though and enjoyed each others company.  

•  I was called today to be a ward missionary.  In case you have forgotten I am LDS.  Basically a ward missionary helps to welcome in investigators and helps the missionaries find people who are interested in our church within our ward.  At least that's what I think it is.  Anyway, I'm pretty nervous about it and feel out of my comfort zone.  I am definitely not a gospel scholar, but I guess I don't really have to be.  Investigators just need to know the basic principles of the gospel.  I just haven't had very many missionary type experiences.  I hope, though, that I can help bring the gospel into people's lives.  I definitely have a testimony of Jesus Christ and of the gospel.  That's all I need right?  Here is my Mormon.org profile. (I need to update the "How I Live My Faith" section)

•  My efforts in sleep training my 6 month old daughter are making her sleeping worse.  She still goes to bed around 10, but now wakes up around 1:30 AM, then around 4:30 AM.  It is terrible.  I am finding myself regressing back to how things were before, because it was so much easier then.  I don't know what to do about it and it makes me feel like a terrible mother.  I have tried the "cry it out" method, and that was terrible.  Everyone tells me it only takes a few nights for it to work, but I can't do it.  So I have tried no-crying methods, but they haven't worked either.  I try to get Joe to go in and put her back to sleep at 1:30 AM because if I go in she smells the breastmilk and wants to eat, but Joe works full time and it's too tiring for him.  Ugh, I feel like I need to stop trying for a few weeks.  

• I am going back to school in a few weeks.  It's my last semester.  I'm dreading it.  I have to take two classes that I really do not want to take, but I don't have a choice.  I'm also stressing out about my preschool practicum.  I need to start preparing some lessons otherwise my semester will be extremely stressful.  Oh and did I mention I have a 6 month old?  Oh and that 6 month old won't take a bottle.  I'm hoping everything works out and that she won't starve while I'm at school.

That's not even the entire list of thoughts bouncing around in my head right now.  My Mom made cookie-bars and gave me some.  I think I will go have a midnight snack now.  Hopefully that will clear my head ;)

Need a Place

I wanted my own personal blog so I can post my thoughts, opinions, feelings, and whatever else I feel like blogging.  Why not just buy a journal?  Well, I have purchased 3 or 4 journals in my life and write in them for like a week and then stop.  Writing is boring to me, I'd rather type.  Why not just open a word document?  Because I want the world to know me.  This blog probably won't reach the world and that's okay,  I just hope that those it does reach find the blog worth reading and me worth knowing.

So here is a little about me.

I am Hollie and I am 23 years old.  My husband's name is Joseph.  We have been married for a little over 2 years and we have a baby girl named Avrie.   I am currently a stay at home Mom and I love it.  In August I will be going back to school to finish my associates degree in early childhood education.  For those of you who don't know, early childhood education involves teaching children from 3-6 years old.  It is very rewarding and I love it.  I am also a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  (click the link if you are interested in learning about it). 

I hope this blog is enjoyed.

New blog

It is 4:00 am and I am up nursing my little one. While doing so I decided I need to create a new blog. I already have one but it is a blog I created to tell about my family and what we are up to. This blog is going to be about me and my thoughts and feelings on life. It will be about things that don't necessarily reflect the views or feelings of my family, which is why I wanted a separate blog. Anyway, my little one is done now and is sleeping in my arms so back to bed we go. More to come later.

Oh she just giggled in her sleep :)