The late night blogger.

I am feeling extremely insecure/fearful about blogging.  Just wanted you to all know that.  But I feel the desire to blog my thoughts.  This desire usually comes at night when I can't sleep.  So here are tonight's thoughts:

• 5 year reunion weekend.  Yep, I graduated from high school 5 years ago, which seems pretty crazy to me.  It's been so long but at the same time it feels like yesterday.  I was pretty hesitant about attending the reunion, but I'm glad I went.  It was fun reminiscing and seeing people that I had forgotten about.  Although I didn't really talk to anyone outside of my circle of friends.  I don't think I will attend the 10, 20, 30 year reunions.  I keep in touch with the people that really matter to me from high school so I don't really see the point?.  Besides the reunion I hung out with friends from high school like the good ol' days.  What a state of nostalgia we were all in.  We had fun though and enjoyed each others company.  

•  I was called today to be a ward missionary.  In case you have forgotten I am LDS.  Basically a ward missionary helps to welcome in investigators and helps the missionaries find people who are interested in our church within our ward.  At least that's what I think it is.  Anyway, I'm pretty nervous about it and feel out of my comfort zone.  I am definitely not a gospel scholar, but I guess I don't really have to be.  Investigators just need to know the basic principles of the gospel.  I just haven't had very many missionary type experiences.  I hope, though, that I can help bring the gospel into people's lives.  I definitely have a testimony of Jesus Christ and of the gospel.  That's all I need right?  Here is my Mormon.org profile. (I need to update the "How I Live My Faith" section)

•  My efforts in sleep training my 6 month old daughter are making her sleeping worse.  She still goes to bed around 10, but now wakes up around 1:30 AM, then around 4:30 AM.  It is terrible.  I am finding myself regressing back to how things were before, because it was so much easier then.  I don't know what to do about it and it makes me feel like a terrible mother.  I have tried the "cry it out" method, and that was terrible.  Everyone tells me it only takes a few nights for it to work, but I can't do it.  So I have tried no-crying methods, but they haven't worked either.  I try to get Joe to go in and put her back to sleep at 1:30 AM because if I go in she smells the breastmilk and wants to eat, but Joe works full time and it's too tiring for him.  Ugh, I feel like I need to stop trying for a few weeks.  

• I am going back to school in a few weeks.  It's my last semester.  I'm dreading it.  I have to take two classes that I really do not want to take, but I don't have a choice.  I'm also stressing out about my preschool practicum.  I need to start preparing some lessons otherwise my semester will be extremely stressful.  Oh and did I mention I have a 6 month old?  Oh and that 6 month old won't take a bottle.  I'm hoping everything works out and that she won't starve while I'm at school.

That's not even the entire list of thoughts bouncing around in my head right now.  My Mom made cookie-bars and gave me some.  I think I will go have a midnight snack now.  Hopefully that will clear my head ;)